If it Flies it Lies- Uncovering the Feathered Truth

If it Flies, it Lies- Uncovering of the Feathered Truth by Samantha Jackson
Birds are a seemingly normal part of our everyday lives that many of us have rarely questioned. They are a particularly basic part of almost every ecosystem and seem to blend in rather well. Many do not question the normalcy of these creatures, for we have been around them for our entire lives. That is until the organization Birds Aren’t Real was formed. Birds Aren’t Real is a conspiracy group that was formed in 1976 to spread their “Feathered Gospel” on why they believe that the birds we see on the streets are not actually birds, rather they are spy drones monitored by the United States government to keep watch on US citizens.
From the reaction I got from Mrs. Livingston and the rest of my journalism class when I said I wanted to write an article about how birds aren’t real, I was curious to know how many people were unacquainted with this organization and hear their thoughts. When surveyed, Fargo North students answered about 50%-50% when it came to being acquainted with the organization. About 50% of people who answered the form believed that birds are real animals, while about 24% believe birds are government-operated surveillance drones. The other 26% stated that they were one the fence about it, and had an open mind to what the organization has to say. When asked about if they personally think the government does a lot to spy on us- more than what we are already aware of, about 74% said yes and about 11% said no. The last 15% had some interesting responses in the “other” tab, so thank you for that. So for you 50% who are probably extremely confused right now, let’s get right into why birds aren’t real.
Bird’s Aren’t Real was created post Cold War off of the belief that the US Government wanted to keep a closer eye on all of their citizens. Around this Cold War era, basically everyone was treated as a communist spy in the US and the government would do everything to their extent to keep an eye on their citizens. According to the official Bird’s Aren’t Real organization website, the CIA orchestrated a massive bird genocide between 1959 and 1971 to wipe out all of the actual birds in the United States and replace them with very realistic bird drones/robots. Why not just add a few bird-like drones into the sky instead of killing them all off you may ask. Well, higher ups in the Birds Aren’t Real organization have uncovered evidence that would prove many CIA and government employees hated birds. The most hated being pigeons in Washington, D.C., because they would always defecate on their cars and create a big mess throughout the city. They believe that many involved with the government and CIA at the time simply hated birds and found them to be more of a nuisance. How did they pull off such a widespread bird genocide and wipe out somewhere around 12 billion birds in a span of 22 years? Well, the director of the CIA at the time (Allen Welsh Dulles) pitched his idea of adding “extra surveillance” to President Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1956 and got an approved $65 billion of public health funds. With this $65 billion budget, Dulles would work with the aircraft company Boeing to build top secret planes that were designed to carry bird poison. The purpose of the bird poison was to infect the birds with a very contagious virus that would eventually kill them all off. To cover this up, the leaders of this project informed the other branches of government that the planes were used to “water the grass of the entire country,” hence the nickname created for this project- operation “Water the Country.” Given this was a top secret mission, much of the engineering aspects took place at Area 51 in Roswell, New Mexico, so they could be covered up easier.
One of the Boeing engineers who was commissioned for this project, Neil Ford, had an interview with a higher up from the Birds Aren’t Real organization before his death in the mid 90s. During this interview, he spoke of some of the details of the project that he worked on. He also claimed that Culles chose engineers for his team that did not have families to trace them down if the engineers “suddenly went missing” once the planes were complete. Interestingly enough, after the completion of all the bird bombers, all of the engineers except Ford were all suddenly drafted to fight on the front lines of Vietnam and never heard from again. Ford was supposedly the only engineer to be traced after this project, for he ended up leaving the engineer group to pursue other endeavors. This interview created a very strong push for the organization to spread their message.
Today, Birds Aren’t Real has made history by becoming the first organization to announce an official candidacy for president in the 2020 election. Much of their campaigning has taken place through various forms of social media, such as their Instagram (@birdsarentreal) and their Tik Tok (@birdsarentreal), both of which are verified accounts, as well as their Twitter (@birdsarentreal). Their major campaign focus is to spread the Feathered Gospel and make the United States aware of their beliefs.
Many deeply involved ‘Bird Truthers’ have also done various interviews with local news channels as well as with various semi large podcast channels. The message of the organization is slowly beginning to spread into more popular, larger forms of media, especially with their recent announcement for their candidacy for president. Bigger organizations (such as Vice, Audubon magazine- an environmental magazine, and counting) are beginning to pick up on the organization and give them press. The organization was also working to interview real life ‘bird truthers’ from around the country and create a mini documentary to promote their message. The Feathered Gospel is slowly becoming more common knowledge.
I believe that either side you fall on the feathered-aisle, the organization as a whole teaches us all something important- it is okay to question your surroundings and be more curious, creative, and outside of the box thinkers. Oftentimes, we get so stuck in the seriousness of the world we live in that we almost become robots who are taught to think inside the box. With this, it can sometimes be a fun escape to question the seemingly “normal.” Maybe, just maybe, this organization is on to something big.