What comes to mind when you think of a homeschooler? An awkward, shy, sheltered kid with poor social skills? A wealthy, large, hyper-religious family who has no trust in the government or the school system? These are the stereotypes I often hear when I bring up my homeschooled upbringing.
I find it sensible to say that many stereotypes exist for a reason, and these are no different. However, it’s important to note that these stereotypes are just that: stereotypes. None of them are true for every single homeschooler, and most homeschoolers won’t relate to everything I relate to.
I was homeschooled my whole life until just two years ago when I decided to try out a couple of high school classes for the first time ever. I come from a very large family of nine children, of which I’m the seventh child. All of us were homeschooled, but it wasn’t because of a complete lack of trust in the school system; both my parents were public schooled, and they turned out alright.
Our family had our own personal reasons for choosing this route, like being able to go at our own paces, having the freedom to take time off when we needed to, and feeling less pressure to do things one specific way. Looking back, I was definitely fairly sheltered as a kid. My social life mostly came from our family’s church and co-ops, which are groups of homeschooling families who meet up and learn together. I had a tight-knit friend group but didn’t have many opportunities to meet new people. Due to my small social circle, I didn’t hear a very diverse set of views on the world. I also missed out on a lot of the popular TV shows as a kid. I have never seen SpongeBob, and it’s too late for me to start now.
Despite all of this, I’d like to think my social skills have turned out decent enough, though that’s with the caveat that I am extremely introverted and typically choose to hang out by myself rather than try to get to know people. For this reason, you likely don’t know me very well, if you know me at all, and you probably didn’t even know I was homeschooled.
So why did I choose to try out public high school? Homeschooling gave me a lot of freedom to explore my interests, but with that freedom also came a lack of real structure to my day. I didn’t have a set time to wake up, to eat breakfast, or to do my schoolwork. This was especially a problem for me during the pandemic when I didn’t have any events to go to. I was also just burnt out of school and had little motivation to work on anything.
I knew I needed a change in my life to get myself back on track, and that’s when I heard my sister Maria was going to try out a couple of classes at Fargo North. This news was kind of shocking to me. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but most people reading this were likely public-schooled their whole lives. To me, public school was just a vague concept in the back of my head. I knew some public schoolers from church, but hearing that my sister would be trying some classes changed it from being that vague concept to being a real option. After long consideration, I decided I would try it out as well. My mom got us both set up with two classes each at North as a way for us to stick our toes in the water.
Pretty much all of my knowledge of public school was from the Disney Channel, so really, I knew nothing about it at all. I just hoped there wasn’t actually a mandatory sing-and-dance break every few hours, although the lack of a laugh track whenever I made a really bad joke was a disappointment to me. The biggest immediate culture shock for me was the sheer number of kids walking through the hallways between periods. It also took a lot of experimentation to learn what school lunches were worth taking and which ones were basically cardboard. I made a lot of mistakes in that department.
I was also surprised to see that the lunch lines were less “lines” and more crowds of people huddling together at the front of the line with no regard for who was behind them. When I saw this phenomenon for the first time, I thought either the food here was incredible, or these poor kids hadn’t been fed in days. I later learned that this is just the way high schoolers get their food.
I can only imagine the burnout one must feel if they’ve been doing public school their whole life. The constant due dates and strict schedules are something that I know I would’ve hated as a kid, which I could easily see festering into a hatred for the school system altogether. However, I get to come to public high school not as an extension of what I’ve been doing my whole life but rather as a fresh start where I can try a whole new lifestyle I’ve never experienced before. I don’t always know what’s going on, but I’ve learned to go with the flow of the school schedule, attend weird pep rallies, and participate in things like National History Day.
Doing school through North gave me a new level of structure to my day. I need to get up at a reasonable time, which comes with needing to try to sleep at a reasonable time as well. This is something I still struggle with. I thought I would hate having a set routine, but it has been very helpful for me. Sometimes, I get stressed with all I need to get done for school and miss having the freedom to do things at my own pace. At the same time, about midway through the summer, I started to miss knowing what I’d be doing every day, not needing to think about what to have for lunch, and having a reason to get out of my house and see people.
While public school can be a lot sometimes, I’m genuinely glad I decided to take this route for my life. Both public and homeschooling have their perks and drawbacks; I don’t think one is necessarily better than the other; they’re just different. Having that time to explore my interests and go at my own pace while I was younger is something I wouldn’t trade for the tastiest box of doughnuts on the planet, and now, having the time to learn how to keep myself on track before I enter the real world is something I’m extremely gracious to have.
I want to take a moment to acknowledge the incredible teachers at North who greatly helped me transition into a new way of learning and who were extremely accommodating to me. People like Mr. Puhl, Mrs. Knutson, Mr. Walsh, Mrs. Schneider, and many more. Thank you for being patient with me as I figured everything out. Without having great teachers like you and my counselor, Mrs. Evenson, this whole process would have been a lot more difficult for me.
At the end of the day, there are always new things to learn, no matter what it is you’re doing in life. As long as you have the mindset to learn, there will always be nuggets of wisdom in the day to day life. Whether you’re in a full classroom with teachers giving mountains of knowledge, at home managing yourself, or walking down the sidewalk just taking in the world around you, all you need to do is pay attention.
