Welcome to the kitchen, where my beloved father says his most barbaric thoughts. Every issue I will grace you with his thought process. In this issue, I will talk about my dads preposterous AI addiction. My dad is chronically online, and like most chronically online people do, he believes the most outrageous things he sees while perusing the endless Facebook reel page. Luckily for me, I get to hear everything he thinks and says. Today, he was rambling on about someone’s memorial video that he saw. Of course he showed me said memorial, and to my innocent, unbeknownst surprise, it was AI.
My padre can never tell what is, and isn’t AI. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, because at his ripe age of 55, I probably wouldn’t be able to keep up with it either. Back to the point, this AI memorial was supposedly sung by Eminem and a bunch of other well known rappers from this decade. When I broke the news to my poor old George Michael, he was completely and utterly distraught. “It’s more than just Eminem, it’s a whole bunch of well-known rappers.” Denial. The voice cracks and unkept pitch of this song was so bad that it was almost impossible to believe that it was real, but my peepaw found a way.
I’m not kidding when I say this memorial video—which mind you was a minute long—had been playing for 20 minutes straight. We were on our way to goodness knows where, which is at least 20 minutes away. Why is this video on for 20 minutes playing non-stop AI slop? Because my dad thought it was heartfelt. I get it, but how about we play it once and throw the phone out of the window.
My dear old sire keeps sending me these types of videos, and I have no idea what to tell him. The other day, he sent me a link to the Cantina app – If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically an app that creates AI messages or videos. Think of those minecraft TikToks with a reddit story in the background, and a character in the story says “Cantina app, what do I say?” Yeah, my dad uses that app.
At least he got creative with the responses he gives me when I text him, and not just sending me a thumbs up emoji. Anyways, he sent me an AI video from this monstrosity of an app, and asked me what I thought while laughing to himself. If there is one thing we should learn from my favorite pappy, is that AI is stupid. Because of the constant stupidity AI holds, it eventually carries from person to person like a viral infection.
This infection only ruins the lives of those who are more susceptible to the gullibility it holds. I just happen to have that beast in me that doesn’t allow me to be tricked. Let’s get rid of this AI thing so my family isn’t torn apart by noticeably fake people. My ego can’t let that happen.
