The story is familiar. In the myth written by Ovid, Narcissus was a hunter known for his beauty and who loved all things beautiful. He is punished with an eternal fascination for his own reflection and dies from thirst, putting the human requirement for water below his self-intoxication. While this story is antique to say the least, the same concept of self at the center of all can often be seen in modern society.
While there is a healthy level of narcissism that is contingent on one’s ability to maintain self-confidence and leads to individual achievement, there is a point where it becomes unhealthy. Author Pat MacDonald, in his psychoanalytical paper, claims that “sub-clinical narcissism or narcissistic traits have reached epidemic proportions with serious consequences,” including a lack in human connection and an overall ignorance to the decaying natural world. The tendency for humans to only react to issues that impact them personally is natural yet selfish. He accredits much of this social rise in narcissism to the rise in social media and the increased celebrity worship.
Pseudo-connection provided by social media allows our age to validate their lack of genuine interactions or concern for the needs of others. Modern society seems to prioritize fame, wealth, and celebrity above all else, and genuine connections with others are increasingly taking the back seat. MacDonald picks out five principles of self-improvement to fight the growing epidemic: gratitude, modesty, compassion, mindfulness, and community. I personally would add vulnerability to the list.
While it is often familiar to mindlessly scroll through life, if one builds these traits into their schedule, they will become the new natural. To take careful time to reflect upon the things that someone feels grateful for in their life will increase their self-awareness and appreciation of their world. I added vulnerability because I personally think that it’s impossible to make genuine human connections if one is not willing to wear their heart on their sleeve, at least occasionally. We must be recklessly intentional and uncomfortably courageous once in awhile to maintain a sense of aliveness.
I know there are many who disagree with this philosophy. Those who would rather remain in a controlled comfort zone, because it’s what they know. I get it. Vulnerability is scary and gratitude lists will not fix big and heavy pains. Telling yourself, “I’m thankful for my dog” is not going to cure your depression or heal your neighbor fighting cancer. But the mindset that gratitude builds will undoubtedly be beneficial. Compassion will give you a heart set on others, rather than perpetually dwelling on yourself. Mindfulness will allow you to disperse your energy consciously. And community will provide peace in the natural human need for connection to others.
These traits will force you to see outside yourself, find belonging in a group, and allow yourself to break down personal walls to let people in. Because as much as some of us would like to think we don’t, we need people. We can push people away and call ourselves self-dependent all we want, but at the end of the day, we live in a society, not a bubble.
We all get caught up in our own lives and become blind to the outside world, but the outside world needs attention. People need to be seen. The environment needs to be taken care of. Attention is demanded beyond ourselves. We often expect to find substantial meaning within our own small worlds, but much meaning is found externally. In this age of self-seeking, our desperate search for personal meaning is more likely to be met outside ourselves.